Spiritual Discipline

For so long now I have not done things I didn’t want to do. I thought that this rebellious nature was to my benefit, but I’ve now realized it’s to my detriment. Because I would allow this rebellious nature to seep into areas of my life which in turn sabotage my development. When a kundalini yoga teacher tells me to do something, the rebellious nature, my self saboteur, my black dog, says fuck you I don’t want to do that. When I become my own authority and tell myself to get out of bed, my rebellious nature says no, and then doesn’t do it. I’ve been doing this my entire life, and it’s gotten me where it’s gotten me today, not listening to any authority figure, including myself, and often times listening and obeying what my smaller self says to do. This isn’t cool.

When I was going through my awakening, I would go to a bar for example, and my smaller self would say, “don’t go talk to THAT girl, she’s wayyyy too hot you could never get her” and I would hear my smaller self say that, and as a result of my smaller self saying that, I did the exact opposite of whatever that small voice said.